THE PEANUT GALLERY PRESENTS: Jenna McDonald
Sister. Super Mom. Organized.
We are sitting in our mom's kitchen & I just read her the following article:
RUSSIAN MAN STAGES OWN DEATH BEFORE PROPOSING TO GIRLFRIEND
ABC News, Kevin Dolak
The nuptials promise of "till death us do part" got an intriguing twist in the Russian city of Omsk when a woman received an elaborate marriage proposal from her boyfriend, who she thought had just died.
Irena Kolokov was caught off guard when she turned up to meet her boyfriend, Alexey Bykov, 30, but found what appeared to be a horrific car accident when she arrived.
"We'd arranged to meet at a certain place, but when I arrived there were mangled cars everywhere, ambulances, smoke, and carnage," Kolokov told Orange News.
In a video posted on Russia's Life News, Bykov is seen walking away from the ambulance at the scene.
"When I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road, a paramedic told me he was dead, and I just broke down in tears," she said.
Horrified, she walked away, sobbing. Meanwhile, Bykov emerged from the ambulance behind her, giggling and holding flowers and a single golden mylar balloon.
His face covered in fake blood and his head wrapped in gauze, Bykov ran up to his love, who was so distraught that when her boyfriend approached her she shoved him off while crying uncontrollably.
Even when the sparklers went off in the background, Kolokov still had no clue that she'd been had.
It took some close consoling before she was calm enough for Bykov to get down on bended knee and ask her to be his wife. Luckily for Bykov, once her nerves had settled, Kolokov saw the humor in the prank, and decided to say yes.
To stage the entire event, Bykov hired a film director, a script writer, stuntmen, and make-up artists to make his proposal one of the most truly memorable moments of Kolokov's life.
"I wanted her to realize how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me. I think it worked," he said. "But I promise it's the last time."
MF: What do you think of that?
JM: F**king Creepy.
MF: How did your husband propose to you?
JM: It’s a long story.
MF: Did it involve fake blood?
JM: No. Nothing as exciting as that. The more I think about that the more it makes me mad. You would be in such a state of messed up confusion. Two days later she’s gonna be like, “Jesus Christ did I say yes?” What’s he gonna stage if he wants a divorce, her death? I’m annoyed now. What else do you want to ask me?
MF: “A stitch in time saves nine” What does that mean?
MF: A stitch in time saves nine.
JM: I don’t know. That’s a dumb saying.
MF: What does it mean?
JM: I don’t know. Fix it. Why does it say 9? Whats 9? Why not 2 or 4? Whats 9? It should be catchier. Like "A stitch in time stops a crime.” What’s another saying? Here I have one, “You have to sit by the side of a river a long time before a roast duck flies into your mouth.” (laughs) I’m thinking it means just what it says.
MF: So what do you think about the internet?
JM: Um. I like it. Stop asking me stupid questions.
MF: You’re on your computer! You have to engage with me.
JM: Oh-yea-ok. 6 and 9 stitches. Dumb.
MF: What are you?
JM: Stay at home mom.
MF: How many kids do you have? 2?
JM: Why are you asking me things you already know?
MF: Tell me about Grandpa Nick's petting zoo in Warrens, Wisconsin?
(My sister, nephews & I went to a “petting zoo” where the animals were clearly being neglected and abused. They were covered in flies and filth.)
JM: Concentration camp for animals.
MF: Yep. That sums it up.
JM: Weird music. God that music was weird. Wasn’t it? When we got there I thought, "Aww, that music is cute!" Until you saw the animals. I felt like there was going to be a kid in a barn stroking a bloody lamb and grandpa nick was going to come out wearing a sheep shawl and red lipstick. Christ. The sheep are bah-ing for their lives. Nobody cares.
MF: Yea. They never called us back.
JM: I know! That place is the stuff nightmares are made of. Ok. So Grandpa Nick is a freak. What else do you want to talk about? God. The saddest thing was the ram. He couldn’t even eat because his horns were so long.
MF: This is getting really dark.
JM: Should we turn it around?
MF: I don’t think we can. It’s a one way street to Grandpa Nicks.
JM: No. I’m pretty sure it’s a two way street. You get in and you get the fuck out.
MF: OK. I’m going to toss in a little art question. What do you think about it?
JM: I thinks its great. I’m envious. Isn’t it kind of weird that you and mom got the artistic ability and it skipped me?
MF: That is weird. You like crafty things. You really like when something is clever. It makes you really happy to be amazed by how clever something is. I feel like you say, “Look at that! Isn’t that clever?” a lot.
JM: Its true! That’s why I love pinterest. I can never come up with clever things. I’m also obsessed with buttons you can push, organizational compartments, bins and totes. Love em.
MF: You like pinterest?
JM: Yea. Very clever. You know how many things you can do with a crate? Lots of things. Things I would never think of. Clever people on that website.
MF: SO which kid is your favorite?
JM: I’ll tell you what, I’ll fake a car accident in front of my 1-year-old and my 6-year-old and whichever one is the most torn up I like the best.